Retirement Is A Time Of New Beginnings
Put dating in retirement on your list!
It’s Your Retirement ……………. Own It!
When I first retired I didn’t see any reason why I should change as a person. My lifestyle has changed, big time but the basic core of who I am has stayed the same! I put this down to the fact that large parts of my life are following a familiar pattern. Because I have a partner I have the benefit of sharing my lifestyle. Being happily unemployed though has given me the opportunity to be far more social than I ever was. In my earlier post I have written about how many women find this an empowering by product of being retired. Many of my new single friends have been hassling me to give them a mention on Ready Set Retire and with their input Dating In Retirement was born!
“The times they are a-changing” Bob Dylan
WARNING, times have changed. If the last time you went on a date you were wearing a mini skirt/frilly shirt you need to know what’s been happening . With the help of my friends (both male and female) I have put together the four most important changes in the dating scene
Rule change #1: Goal Setting
Firstly, we have to understand that dating in retirement is not entirely focused on dealing with body image, physical fitness and the over abundance of female baby boomers!
When I was dating (small town New Zealand) the accepted pathway had an end goal of marriage and babies, in that order. Teaching or nursing occupied the waiting time until Mr Right found me. On the other hand, males were allowed to “sow their wild oats”. Eventually, they too found Miss Right and joined her on their pre-ordained path. Skip forward a few decades and both parties have many more goals to choose from. Of course dating in retirement can be for love and intimacy but social companionship and friendship are equally as important.
Communicate: Make sure you both want the same things
Rule change #2: Men do the asking (and the paying!)
This “rule” produced the oddest result. It seems women find the “asking” hard and men find letting go of the “paying” just as difficult! However, they all agreed that the change was positive and one they were more than happy to go along with.
Communicate: Don’t be held back by out dated gender demarcations
Rule change #3: One at a time!
Remember when girls were “fast” and boys were “sowing wild oats” if they dated more than one partner at a time? Dating in the C21st allows for variety for all! I have friends who “date” because they share a love of dancing. They also date other friends who share different interests.
Communicate: Exclusivity is not a given
Rule change #4: Getting to know each other
Getting to know each other was often a slow and steady process if you dated someone out of your home town. Information sharing over a meal or after a movie relied on your honesty and how much you wanted to impress your date. Today? Don’t even think about it! Being “Googled” and “Googling” is not just for the young!
Communicate: Be honest and enjoy the freedom of being yourself